KUMBAYA

Tuesday, November 8, 2016: A day that I will remember for the rest of my life.   She lost.  I was shocked, saddened and in total disbelief that in America a man could say the things he said during the campaign and yet garner the electoral vote of this country.  Our boys, now 25 and 22 were out of town.  I received texts about what in the world happened?  What will this mean for their future and where has our country gone??? After all, Kevin and I have taught them to embrace diversity, to love everyone and to believe that good always wins out.  I was at a loss of anything encouraging to say.  I coud not muster the strength to say, it will be okay, because frankly at that moment I was not sure it ever would be.  I wasn't proud of that.  I felt my job was to help them feel safe.  What I ultimately had to say was exactly what I was feeling. I was honest about how uncertain their dad and I felt and that I wasn't sure where the humanity in people had gone.... and that we loved them very much.  When something so earth-shattering happens, a mom wants all of her chicks in the nest; it's instinctual, I think.  Mine weren't.    
I had a very hard time focusing on Wednesday.  I knew I had to step back, I had to take a breath, unplug and remember all the good things I have in my life.  We decided no television, just calm music and regrouping. That helped.  Old movies were on the agenda, hot tea and staying close to my husband.  
Eventually I reengaged in social media and turned the TV on.  I am awestruck by the number of people that think we should just "get over it" and come together.  Really?  Maybe that's because they knew all along he was just lying to "win" so they didn't believe all of those ugly things he espoused or the venimous spews he engaged in, not to mention making fun of a disabled person or engaging in derrogatory comments about women.  Kevin and I are from the midwest; we take people at their word.  We believe if you speak it, you believe it and so then should we.  This leaves me with the notion that either we are naive, or the folks that voted for him, claiming they do not embrace those same vile statements he made, are.  
This is not a dissertation on Republicans or Democrats for me.  I have many, many friends who I love very much who are Republicans.  I can't say I would feel the same about the "obstructionist" people in the other party that I feel about my friends, ie: Mitch McConnell, Newt Gingrich, but we all must live together. This I know.
I also know that the sun will come up tomorrow and Kevin and I have lived through a few very rough Republican presidents (namely Regan and our first house with interest rates then of 14%) and we are still here.  We survived.  This is the message I have relayed to my boys, after calmness crept over me like a sweet dream, and I so welcomed that.  Yes, we will endure, and we will be okay.  
But that still leaves us with the unsettling feeling for all of those folks who do NOT feel they will be okay.  What of the Mexican immigrants?  What of Muslim people and our LGBTQ community?  We have friends and family members in all of those categories.  Their plight has to be ours and our concern.
The protests should be peaceful, but protesting IS allowed and all should feel the "freedom" to demonstrate as their hearts guide them.  It is our way of saying we disagree, and as Americans we are entitled to that right.  I have seen the outcry on social media of "get over it" "cry babies" and much worse than that, frankly.  If he can incite fear and anger, as he did, he cannot then say, "Let's come together now.  Let's sing "Kumbaya"!  I won!" and expect us all to fall in line.  He could have helped the cause yesterday when he was asked, "Are you sorry for the things you said on the campaign trail?" and he replied, "No.  I won"!  I guess in his world it's win at ALL costs.  That's not my world, which just highlights the great divide between us. 
The racial remarks and hateful language is up 400% since Tuesday, because whether he or any of the folks that voted for him really ascribe to the Xenophobic comments he made, the folks that do feel that way and agree with those comments now feel more free than ever to spit them out whenever they want.  That alone has set us back many years, and it is one of the most disheartening things I have seen and now witnessed with my own eyes and ears. That is sad...
I think now of all of the people in my life who have passed on that were strong Democrats, and I think of how shocked and saddened they would be that THIS is where we are now, a divided country with Americans who feel they don't have a place here, they are afraid, and they feel hated by many who now feel they have been given carte blanche to bully them.
I asked a dear friend if he could share any words of wisdom with me that may help me feel better about where our country is now.  This is what he shared, and this is what I am hanging onto:  "I’m trying to be hopeful that some positive changes may result, and some good will come about, albeit through some rather broken vessels.

I’m going to choose to believe that it is possible and to not lose heart.

We have to pray, be gentle and understanding toward one another and listen!

It is more important to be faithful, than to be right!"  I am using this to guide me.  I am feeling more hope today than yesterday, and I know I have to get past all of this and find the "good" in our fellow men and women once again.  Please, just give us a few minutes.......