It's About Respect

I spent this past week at a conference where I listened to many presenters speak about, in summary, fitting in, finding a place in society where one can feel equal with a yearning for respect, NOT pity, but respect, equality.  I found myself pondering the points made and thinking about my own actions, or reactions, to those who are different than me.  I have taken independence and dignity for granted.  This week made me realize how closely those are tied to our sense of "self worth" and the pride that comes from accomplishing things on one's own.  I know what I am sharing is not ground breaking or some big revelation; it's merely reflection.

It is good, I think, to "reflect" on our level of sensitivity, to be cognizant of how we approach others and how we can be better "listeners" and not "reactors."  I am a "fixer."  Fixing is what comes to me naturally.  There is a problem, I seek solution, I do research, I do my homework, and I find tools to help, to guide, to make things better.  In my flurry of "doing" I am not always being an "active" listener. 

Today, this day, I will begin to actively "listen."


"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them"

Among the "Employed"

We count ourselves lucky that both of our sons are working; I know many college-age students who are still looking.  There is nothing like work to contribute to one's character and to help our boys see that work can be sometimes very boring, difficult, not fun, but necessary!  Their paychecks can also help them see just how fast money can leave your bank account if you aren't careful!  Swimming took a huge chunk of their time (and still does for one son)  so their work in high school was around the house, doing "extras" to earn some cash, but that doesn't compete with earning one's "own" money and then practicing fiscal responsibility in order to "hold on" to it! 
It's so mind-blowing to me that all of those years ago when KD and I started "Daddy & Me" swim classes, when the boys were not yet 6 months old, that they would both end up swimming at a high level competitively and working in jobs that utilize that knowledge and skill.  I was a lifeguard in high school and beyond; it was simply important to us that our boys be comfortable in the water.  When we moved to San Diego in 1999, it was imperative that our boys learn to appreciate, respect and swim in the ocean.  "Thank you" SD Junior Lifeguards!!  If you live here, the ocean is a huge part of the culture, and being comfortable in it is very important.  JGs were a huge part of their lives in middle school years, and it taught them many, many things.  Never in a million years, when CD was 6 months old did I think water would play such a huge role in his life.  To me, watching my boys' lives take shape, so far, is reinforcement that God has the plan, and we are merely watching it unfold before us. 

The time passed so quickly, as it does when we age!  We walked, we golfed, we soaked in the hot tub, we laughed, we drank, we were definitely "merry" and we caught up on our lives, our interests, and yes, on our kids (now young adults), the reason we all came together in the first place.  I rode in M's car through the pass and thought of how I loved the "smell" of the trees and the fresh rain, the beauty of the mountains.  The mountains have always felt like "home" for me.  I digress....

My Moms' Retreat has ended, and I am a bit sad, but my heart sings with all of the wonderful stories shared, the lives our own kids have made and are making for themselves and sings with the tune about how you can be apart for so long, yet always pick right back up where you left off.  That is the sign of friendship and that is what I experience each and every time I return to SB Moms' Retreat. 

Thank you for the love, for the laughs, for teaching me "flip cup"!  Thank you for dancing, for singing, for great food made with love and for your time, which in this day and age is the most important of gifts we can give to each other. 

Until next time, ladies .......