Has it been a month? Seems live forever!

Three boxes with food and sundry items, emails, a few texts and rare phone calls and here we are, nearly a month into being 75% of a family! The good news is I am really enjoying CD2 and we are spending lots of time together. I can say the only part I don't like is the "taxi" part, but I keep reminding myself that soon that will change and he will be on his way to "out"! I am, therefore, trying to relish every car ride and lunch date we engage in!
Seems the only calls of late have been for $$. We purposely didn't set anything up, as we weren't sure how it would all flow, but now KD and I have made the decision that delivering a "set" amount into CD's account every 1st of the month is the thing to do, and we shall begin that 10.01.09. That way he doesn't have to make the "dreaded" call home for more money, so the calls can be w/out some of the angst, AND he know how much he has to deal with each month and can choose to do or not do accordingly!
Of course there will be swim team trips that will "up" the ante, but we will have to play those by ear. My latest email has gone unanswered, where I told CD I was feeling a bit frustrated because it seemed the only time he was calling was for money. No calls to "share" or "inquire" of our family, just about transferring money. I DO get that those calls happen and I want him to call if he needs something, but a few in between saying "hey, love you" or "hey, I wanted to tell you this about my day" would be nice. I have been warned those calls from boys are more rare than from girls, but I'm holding my breath that maybe he will get the message...... probably not a smart thing!!!!

Our first phone conversation

Well, after playing phone tag for a couple of days, we finally connected. Seems school is going very well so far and it also seems that the things KD and I were telling him through the years really WERE sinking in, he just didn't want us to know that! He has had a couple of small things that he had to seek help for and he did it with ease. Why did it seem so difficult to get him to do that when he was home??? Anyway, the responsibility factor has kicked in and he is growing up! My sister told me I will probably learn more about what's going on via his Facebook page than through him sharing with me! She's probably right! He did share that he is now known to his dorm floor buddies and his swim team as "the Cable guy" because he somehow figured out not only his cable issues but half the dorm rooms who had cable issues. Then he went to a swim team function at one of the upper classman's apartment and he was having cable issues. He found out CD knew something about fixing the problem so he asked for help and CD is now the "Cable God"!!! I always think of the Jim Carey movie now when I hear that!!! He was very proud of himself and took pride in the others looking to him for help. Very nice. KD had a GREAT conversation with him, as did his little bro. It was so good to hear his voice. I'm good now -- for a few days!!! :)

It's official; he's gone

So we spent a day and a half in San Francisco before taking CD to UOP. We walked, ate, rode the public transit -- cable cars, trolleys, etc. We went to Alcatraz, played games, ate some more and had a nice time together. We moved CD in on Thursday and helped him get things settled. As we approached time to say goodbye he became much more quiet. I knew we needed to leave so he could gather himself and go seek his buddies out. I was okay until the very moment, and I couldn't help but cry. His arms around me, I knew, I would not feel again for two months.....

They were to leave for Yosemite the next morning for a frosh bonding and community service project. I'm sure he was tired when he finally got back to his dorm last night. The house seems so quiet, so lonely right now. Poor CD2 is lost. I need to focus on him and we will spend some good, quality time together. I can't imagine how long it will take before the absence calms.

It's hard, too, not to reach out in this day of texting, Facebook and the like. I want/need to give him is space, so I'm refraining from trying to contact him every minute!!! It's taking all I've got, though!!!

Welcome to my emotional rollercoaster....

Well, it's here. The time as a mom you never really see coming, until it's upon you. I'm speaking about sending your first-born off to college. It's been a mixed bag of emotions for me. Excitement for him, sadness for my younger son, and me, questions of whether I did enough "right", and the list goes on. I have tried to "tap" the wisdom of others as I have approached this upcoming event of the "move 'em in and leave." Everyone's story is different, but every mother talks about crying, a very natural thing. I feel like I've been buying, buying, buying, to make sure he has everything, yet I know there are many things I've probably not thought of. I look at the recent commercials from Target and other stores and laugh, yet feel very sad, because that is going to be me in another week. Everything right now is "lasts"! Last favorite meals, last visits, last instructions on "how to" etc. I decided to "blog" for my own outlet, a way to write about what I am feeling and what I will most likely encounter over this first "unknown" year with CD. I also want to be cognizant of CD2 remaining at home and making sure I spend that quality time with him while he is still with us. Feel free to join me on this journey and offer wisdom. It's always appreciated......